How Motherhood Anxiety Often Hides in Plain Sight (And Why You’re Not Overreacting)
You keep telling yourself you’re just tired.
You double-check the diaper bag three times before leaving the house. You lie in bed mentally rehearsing your kid’s lunch plan. You scroll parenting posts like they’re instruction manuals — and still feel like you’re doing it wrong. Your chest feels tight most days, but only in the quiet moments when no one’s looking.
You’ve never had a panic attack. You’re not crying all the time. No one would guess you’re struggling.
So you start wondering: Is this just motherhood?
Let’s talk about it.
Myth vs. Truth: What Motherhood Anxiety Really Looks Like
Myth #1: “If I had anxiety, I’d know it.”
Truth: Most moms with anxiety don’t use the word “anxious.”
They say things like:
• “I’m just overwhelmed.”
• “My brain won’t turn off.”
• “I can’t relax — there’s always something to do.”
• “If I don’t handle it, everything falls apart.”
Anxiety often shows up as control, overthinking, people-pleasing, or hypervigilance — not just panic or spirals.
Myth #2: “It’s just part of being a good mom.”
Truth: Anxiety thrives on guilt and perfectionism.
That urge to get it just right? To predict every meltdown before it happens? It can look like love — but underneath, it’s often fear. Fear of failing. Of not being enough. Of something bad happening if you loosen your grip.
Wanting to be a good mom is beautiful. But white-knuckling your way through motherhood? That’s not sustainable.
Myth #3: “If I’m functioning, I’m fine.”
Truth: High-functioning anxiety is still anxiety.
You might be doing all the things — packing lunches, holding your career together, answering texts, remembering birthdays — but inside? You feel like a shaken soda can no one sees.
You don’t have to fall apart to deserve support. You don’t have to be “barely holding on” to say, this is too much
Read more about how this pressure builds in You’re Not Failing—Your Nervous System Is Overloaded →
Myth #4: “It’ll go away when the baby sleeps more / I’m less busy / this season passes…”
Truth: Anxiety doesn’t usually resolve on its own.
It’s easy to believe things will get better once X happens. But if you’ve been in survival mode for a while? That mode starts to feel normal.
Motherhood can be demanding — but it shouldn’t constantly feel like you’re running from something you can’t name.
🧡 “Just because you’ve learned to function with anxiety doesn’t mean you have to keep carrying it.”
A Few Grounding Tools to Try When Anxiety Creeps In
You don’t need to overhaul your life to start feeling more regulated. Sometimes small shifts make the biggest difference. Here are some therapist-backed ways to support your nervous system in real time:
1. The “Two-Minute Pause”
Set a timer for 2 minutes. Put your phone down, stop folding laundry, and just sit. Let yourself breathe, notice your body, and do absolutely nothing. This isn’t lazy. It’s repair.
💡 Use the Breathe app on your Apple Watch, or a free breathing timer app to guide this.
2. Legs Up the Wall
Lay on the floor with your legs resting up a wall or over the couch. It sounds simple, but it cues your nervous system to shift into calm. This is especially helpful when your body feels restless or overactivated.
3. Name It to Tame It
When your mind is spinning, name what’s happening out loud:
“I feel anxious.”
“I feel overstimulated.”
“I feel responsible for everything.”
Just naming your emotion helps shift your brain from fight-or-flight into awareness.
4. CBT Fact-Checking: Reframe the Story
Anxiety isn’t always logical — but it is convincing. This quick tool helps you pause and check the facts.
1. What’s the anxious thought?
2. How anxious do I feel right now? (scale of 1–10)
3. Write down 5 facts that go against that thought.
4. Rate your anxiety again.
5. Still at a 3 or higher? Go back to a grounding tool — deep breathing, movement, or a sensory reset.
This isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about giving your brain more options than fear.
5. The “Good Enough” List
Instead of the never-ending to-do list, try this:
• 1 thing that must get done
• 1 thing you’d like to do
• 1 thing that’s just for you
It won’t solve everything — but it shifts the pressure toward grace.
6. Soothing Through the Senses
Keep a small self-soothing kit nearby — nightstand, purse, car. Include:
• A calming scent (lavender, eucalyptus)
• A smooth stone or textured item
• Gum or mint
• Soft music or ambient sounds
These small sensory tools can bring you back when the day gets loud.
You Deserve More Than Just “Getting Through It”
If you’re waking up already tense…
If you’re Googling symptoms and double-checking your worth daily…
If your brain feels loud and your body feels tired — even when nothing’s technically “wrong” — that matters.
This might be anxiety. Not a failure. Not weakness. Just your nervous system doing its best to keep you safe — and now asking for a new way to cope.
Therapy can help. So can slowing down enough to ask: What would life feel like if I didn’t have to brace myself every day?
👉 Let’s talk about what support could look like for you.
If you’re looking for something deeper than coping skills and blog posts, I offer therapy for moms navigating anxiety, burnout, identity loss, and the invisible mental load of motherhood.
You’re not too much. You’re just carrying too much. And that can change.
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